...a secret worth keeping...

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:24:56 GMT

Oh, man what a life...

I'm toasting up in my attic all by my lonesome,listening to some Flaming Lips and hoping that I don't sweat to death in the Cher costume I have to wear for this ridiculous charity event. And yes, it also comes with a gigantic Cher head, which I have to wear with high heels while performing two Cher songs...crazy.

In other news I'm tired.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 03:43:39 GMT

baltimore in four days.
school in nine days.

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:06:53 GMT

Lets see my schedule...

go to work
go to work
go to work
go to work
go to work
go to work
move family to new house
go to work
go to work
go to work
go to work
go to work
wo go tork
to go work
krow og ot
finally move into my new house in Kutztown!

please come soon kutztown.

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:32:07 GMT

The other day I found two dollars on the ground.
I decided to buy two one-dollar scratch-off lottery tickets.
I won ten dollars.
Nice.

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 01:32:19 GMT

I am writing from the lovely basement of Miss Jessica Evans. It's so cool. bourne supremacy is being played on the screen. I have not seen the first one; I have no idea what is going on.

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 03:13:20 GMT

Friday is almost here...

Thank you

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 00:18:39 GMT

I was playing with Eli and crawling after him, and my back went insane. It felt like a knife was shoved into my spine, and I collapsed and winced in an excessive amount of pain. I tried to stand, and burst into tears as I did. My mom told me to lay down, but I just feel the urge to move and just....make it better. I don't know. Good god. I'm in this weird position on the chair, trying to get comfortable so I don't have to feel this dull pain that's numbing my entire lower back. I laid down, that didn't help. I stood up, no dice. This is the least comfortable I've felt in a verylong time. Who knows what I did. I don't do anything stressful. Ow. Haha.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 14:50:51 GMT

<*font color="iamsobored06"> <*b>iamsobored06<*/b><*/font>

torn

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 03:47:50 GMT

Feeling confused, as usual. First of all, my brain has been somewhere else when it comes to knowing the easiest things. Today I used a tape measure to measure the height from the ceiling to the couch. It turned out to be 60 inches long and I said, "60 inches, 6 feet!" It wasn't embarrassing or anything, but it's just an example of my brain's capacity right now.

This Brian thing is really starting to get ridiculous. I feel like such a cold-hearted bitch because I don't return his calls, I blow him off as much as I possibly can, and I don't respond well to him in general. The problem is he's such a sweet boy, and he really means well, but the constant calls and the leaving of random notes on my car and the kissing on the cheek while he thinks i'm asleep, and proceeding to do it again thinking I'm asleep a few minutes later......that's just.....i don't know. I don't want to talk to him about this huge problem because it would break his heart and I don't even know what he'd do if I let him down like that at this point. I'm trying extremely hard to give the most obvious hints ever seen by man, but he's living in denial. Yesterday I had fourteen missed calls from him....fourteen...and two voicemails. I'm nice to him, but I'm very clear when I say I can't do something, and almost purposely make it sound like I just don't want to hang out. It may seem mean, but I raelly really don't want to have to sit him down and say 'look buddy, there's nothing going on. This is going no where. Give up now.' I don't know how he'd react. I don't want him to feel as if he's annoying. I want him to just come to the conclusion on his own without me having to tell him. HOW DO I DO THIS! WHAT ELSE CAN I POSSIBLY DO!

What makes it even worse is that something is starting between me and one of his friends. That should make things a hell of a lot better....not. I don't know what's worse, the way I don't respond to brian's attempts, or the fact that I'm about to date a guy he's known almost his whole life. What to do??!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!? asdfl;jk;lasjk;ajka;jksjl;kd;dfajjaf

I'll sleep on it. I have work in the morning anyway.

collin jenkins and i are black

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 14:29:53 GMT

we're black...

anightfrthestarz: ill just brush real nice and shiot
anightfrthestarz: ill b good dawg
The3rdJenkins: do that shit
The3rdJenkins: yeh u straight
anightfrthestarz: fr reel
The3rdJenkins: word up
anightfrthestarz: ima go do dat shit and dip outta this piece
anightfrthestarz: ya feel me?
The3rdJenkins: aite g unit, when u gotta bounce u gotta bounce, do yo thang
The3rdJenkins: yeh dawg
anightfrthestarz: peace!
The3rdJenkins: pc

hahaha oh man sometimes i question my sanity

um yes?

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 00:49:20 GMT

well, hopefully watching 'saw' by myself isn't a bad idea......

I'm really not sure though.

Maybe it is.

Maybe I should wait until someone can watch it with me.....

hmm..

what the hell

sleep is for the weak.

shakespeare...is......ON!

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 01:35:24 GMT

Well, looks like Shakespeare is coming up, and to tell you the truth, I am very excited. I haven't competed in drama for a long time, so this is really exciting to me! woot!

Tomorrow i was supposed to go to 'Murder at the Vicarage' until I was told that I had to babysit my brothers while my mother went to family bingo with my little sister. I agreed just because I was feeling particularly nice and I told Caitlin that I couldn't go to the show, so she gave the extra (and last) ticket to Danielle. Just today I found out that I don't need to babysit after all! GRRRRR. That's alright, because instead I think I'm going to show up at The Daily Grind to watch Open Mike Night (go cara and mike! you'll rock i know it). I might convince Zac to go, if he's feeling up to it, and if he's not, well, I'll force him to drop me off until I feel like leaving again. Either way I'm going to watch my best friends play. Chicks before dicks, that's how it goes. ....uh..word up...

Today was a pretty bad day. I haven't figured out why yet, I just have a feeling it was more on the sorrowful side. I felt good sometimes, but for some reason, I get into moods where my brain refuses to cooperate with me, and I just sit there confused, thinking about what is good and bad in my life. Then my mind mixes it all around until it's just a glob of cloudy thoughts that make absolutely no sense. I just have to sit there and organize my thoughts until they all go back into their filing cabinets... and this is more of an annoyance than anything else.

Time for some English homework. ..woot.

blessed are the what?

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 02:42:19 GMT

Blessed are the poor in spirit. That is what i learned in church on Sunday. Too bad i have no idea what they are talking about. Maybe I'll think about it when I'm feeling Catholic.

So I showed my mother my grades. She took it better than i thought she was going to. For some reason it gave her the brilliant idea to take away my cell phone every night after nine, but I'm pretty sure I know how long that's going to last (not very).

Our whole family is getting sick, and it sucks. Well, actually, my mother and I. Maddie is just being a hypocondriac (fenetic spelling....). She always thinks she has a deadly disease when she gets a cold. The one time she ate something that didn't agree with her and she though she had a tapeworm for weeks. Or when she would stub her pinky toe and walk with a limp convinced that it was broken.
Ok so well yes the point being that I was feeling queasy today, although I'm pretty sure it's not a tapeworm. It's probably the pregnancy.. HA! just kidding. It's probably part of my cold. It refuses to leave my body and has decided to take up residence in my immune system until further notice. Talk about irritating.

Um well I'm pretty much done here now. My toes are numb even with the toe socks....this basement is a little too much for my feet today. It's time for bed.

im napolean!

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 00:29:43 GMT

Napoleon Dyanamite
(Please rate my quiz)

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hellz yea dude

Midterm stressssss

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 23:37:07 GMT

I am REALLY not looking forward to telling my mother my midterm grades. I've been putting it off for almost a week now, but report cards are coming out soon and I don't really know what to do.

Here are the grades:

Science - 77%
History - 78%
Math - 79%
English - 85%

Whoops....

The funny thing is, I have all A's and B's in all of my classes right now. And since the second quarter started, I've already made sure all of my grades are A's.

If anyone has any brilliant ideas as to what to tell my mother, please leave me a nice explaination comment, because I am SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT! bahhh!!!

*praying* Our father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come......

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 16:40:30 GMT

You scored as Sadistic Humour. Congratulations, you scored Sadistic Humour. You find the little things in life to be funny, and have a great sense of humour, whether it's stupid or dark. You're probably young, and older people don't understand why it's all so fucking hillarious. Either way, check out: Clerks, Mallrats, Napoleon Dynamite, Wayne's World.

</td>

Sadistic Humour

95%

Mindfuck

75%

Artistic

65%

Romantic Comedy

45%

Sci-Fi/Fantasy

40%

Drama/Suspense

35%

Mindless Action Flick

15%

Movie Recommendation.
created with QuizFarm.com

i ...i confuse myself..

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 17:52:42 GMT

Ok, here I am trying to ask Cara if Zac lives close to Nate, and i say something wrong from the beginning and everything gets messed up...watch it unfold. It's funny.

iheartme005 (12:46:40 PM): dude, zac actually lives pretty close to zac
iheartme005 (12:46:47 PM): like right in mechanicsburg
mllemisanthrope (12:46:50 PM): ...to zac?
iheartme005 (12:46:52 PM): mhm
iheartme005 (12:47:09 PM): b/c doesn't nate live close to marc?
mllemisanthrope (12:47:26 PM): lol you said zac lives close to zac
mllemisanthrope (12:47:30 PM): i'm not sure where marc lives
iheartme005 (12:47:31 PM): and i know that marc lives close to zac..therefore....zac lives close to nate...
mllemisanthrope (12:47:37 PM): but nate lives like... right in the middle of mechanicsburg
iheartme005 (12:47:39 PM): hahhahaha
iheartme005 (12:47:40 PM): i menat
iheartme005 (12:47:42 PM): i meant
iheartme005 (12:47:43 PM): uhhh
iheartme005 (12:47:46 PM): wait..what did i mean
mllemisanthrope (12:47:48 PM): haha i figured that out... eventually
iheartme005 (12:47:53 PM): hahaha
iheartme005 (12:47:58 PM): i meant zac close to nate
iheartme005 (12:48:01 PM): no
iheartme005 (12:48:03 PM): i mant
iheartme005 (12:48:03 PM): meant
mllemisanthrope (12:48:08 PM): or marc?
iheartme005 (12:48:09 PM): nate close to marc..
iheartme005 (12:48:10 PM): no no
iheartme005 (12:48:11 PM): wqait
mllemisanthrope (12:48:13 PM): hahah
iheartme005 (12:48:25 PM): no no
mllemisanthrope (12:48:29 PM): okay... nate lives close to marc
iheartme005 (12:48:30 PM): i meant,
iheartme005 (12:48:32 PM): no
mllemisanthrope (12:48:36 PM): zac lives close to both
iheartme005 (12:48:37 PM): doens't
mllemisanthrope (12:48:37 PM): no?
iheartme005 (12:48:39 PM): wait..
iheartme005 (12:48:41 PM): i mean
mllemisanthrope (12:48:42 PM): haha i'm soo confused
iheartme005 (12:48:44 PM): nate to marc
iheartme005 (12:48:45 PM): i think
mllemisanthrope (12:48:51 PM): okay
mllemisanthrope (12:48:54 PM): wht about zac?
iheartme005 (12:49:06 PM): i meant zac to nate
iheartme005 (12:49:06 PM): there

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 17:44:39 GMT

So I didn't take my SAT today like I was supposed to. I really don't mind. My test was in Shippensburg and it's 40 minutes away. By the time we got on the road to go my mom was like...'I really don't want to take you, look its flurrying already!" and i just replied 'well, then turn around.'

and she did

So here I am, at home, my brain free of a test. It's not like I'd do well, since I've been bombing everything. I don't just mean bomb, I mean nuke. I've been nuking every test I've taken over the last week. This test would probably be no exception, so I'd rather just wait to bomb it later rather than sooner :-).

...

I hate snow. I'm sorry all you snow-lovers, but I can't stand the stuff. It's white and cold and wet and slippery. Ya can't trust anything that's slippery. So i don't, and I won't. I have horrible circulation too so my hands and feet are in a constant numb state during the winter, which is alright I guess. Stop snow stop! haha

...

I'm watching a 'brain busters' show on the discovery kids channel. It just happened to be on while i was, you know, 'surfin the net....dude'. These nerds are so cool. And I felt really awesome when I answered one of the questions before anyone else on tv...the answer was bagpipe...I was all over that I'm telling you!

...

Oh oh oh, and about Juice and Java last night. It was so much fun! I got to hang out with Meg and Rach before the show too, which was really cool because it was a lot like old times. :-) Fun stuff. J and J was really cool, all the usuals were there, even though the ones from my school said that they weren't coming. They ended up there anyway haha nice one guys ;-).

I think taht's about all for now....time to work on my speech team piece..oh yeahhhh

Peppermint Kisses

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 00:20:41 GMT

Well, I definitely had a very innnnteresting weekend.
Wanna hear about it?
Of course.

So Zac and I went to lunch at Applebee's ...yum yum yum...went to his house so he could help his dad move something, went to the mall, where i got kick ass earrings from hot topic, bought a cell phone charger (thank you soooo much zac), watched Napolean Dynamite, then went to the movies with three couples of people.

Meet the Fockers, cute, and fun...and that's about it...

Afterwards we were all ready to carpool our way back to Dustin's (where we had all originally met) and realized that it had snowed hardcore. From Chris and Alisha's car, we watched helplessly as Joey's car, including Joey, Jess, Dusin and Felicia, did two 360's. Because it was Joey, everyone knew that this happened to be intentional, especially since he tried to peel out afterwards. Nice one.

We got to Felicia's where I spent the night. She made me the best drink, a peppermint Kiss, and we were off to bed..
and that concludes what i did.

I don't like giving narratives to what i do, I like to write about how i feel...but i guess this one will do for tonight...

I FEEL LIKE UTTER SHIT RIGHT NOW. why you ask? well because, for the second time this year, one of my VA friends has died. Kid Josh, an awesome kid. I had only hung out with him a few times, and when I was in VA, he and John were going to come hang out with us, but something went wrong and he couldn't. No one saw this coming. And once again, I am not in my home where I can properly mourn with everyone else in VA. We all think we're invincible. We all think that we can never die. We all think tragedies happen to the other guy. R.I.P. :-(

A Night To Remember....

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 04:44:32 GMT

So I'll tell you all about my wonderful amazing gorgeous night (whether you want to hear it or not).

It started with Evan picking me up from my house at about 7:30. Thanks again, my mom really appreciated it and she's in love with you, that I have no doubt. Both she and my aunt said that they're free on weekends for a date.....yes they adore you that much.

So Evan picked me up and we went to Cara's, where we met Paul, and went to my absolute favorite place in the world (or so I rediscovered once I got there), Juice and Java on a Friday night. Marc's show! You must realize that I haven't been to a show since October/November. This was a really big deal to me, and I had an absolutely amazing time. I really truly feel at home when I'm there. Everyone knows me, I know everyone, and I can act as stupid and goofy as I would like no matter what. It's kind of like finding your long lost family and realizing that they're just like you, so you can act just the way you want around people who act the same exact way. I love it. I realized how much I really missed being there, and how much fun it always was. It's the kind of place where I can jump into the 'defensive stance' i learned in PE self-defense, and scream, 'NO! NO! NO!' and know that the only people judging me are the ones I don't know, but they're insignificant, and I personally don't care that they happen to be alive at that precise moment. *sigh* Meg, Ashe, Tara, Rachael, Marc, Cara, Evan, Paul, Caitlin, David, Roxanne, M.O.M., and a bunch of people I never get around to saying hello to because I don't know them. SO MUCH FUN! SO MUCH FUN! I'm actually kind of upset with this paragraph since it's physically impossible to describe how I felt there. I really don't want to use this word, but it was almost, euphoric. I need to widen my vocabulary..anyway! Unfortunetly, Cara evan and paul wanted to leave super early, and I wasn't about to be rude and inconsiderate and say 'no no no no no stayyyy.'So I gave a round of hugs to everyone, including senor marc on the stage, I went with the gang, with a rediscovered feeling that I haven't had in a very long time.

While in the car I think I got the quietest that I have been in a long while. I was just thinking, reminicsing (spellinnngg), wondering, hoping, etc etc etc. It wasn't a bad feeling, just a feeling. One that required me to talk less and think more. I know everyone noticed, but I really couldn't help it. We drove over the bridge, and as the lights of Harrisburg shined through the windows of the front seat, I felt like I was living movie.

We picked up Evan's little brother, Zach, and drove to the best echo spot in the world. To get there, we had to cross a huge, fastmoving road, but once we got there, thinking about the fact that we had to recross it on the way back didn't matter. Underneath the middle of giant arches we could scream as if nothing else mattered, and hear our voices carry on and on....it totally beats the echo spot outside the school. I don't even think I want to go to that echo spot, knowing there's one in Harrisburg that beats it down to a pulp.

Next up was Denny's where we were all actin completely unstable and getting weird looks from anyone we passed. There we played this association game on a piece of napkin, and yes, it was fun.

Then Walmart, where I became a different personality with every different hat i put on. The 'Bass' hat, ...hick fisher. the 'auto tech' hat, motorhead. the 49ers hat, a playa...hellz yea. the boxers that said 'I have an attitude, and I know how to use it' was pretty cool too, I have to admit.

After all of our fun, we all piled into Cara's house and slept until Evan Zach and Paul needed to leave for one reason or another. What an amazing night, that I'll probably have again sometime. One thing is for sure. Juice and Java is definitely on my schedule for next Friday...

bedroom madness

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 23:23:21 GMT

The cordless phone (which has been dead for four days), christmas stocking, blues guitar book, cardigan, pictures from 3rd grade, a foot pumus, Algebra II worksheets, a glove, a scrapbook, some pants, a note, an NIN cd, a tape dispenser, penguin underwear, pens, a sock, a bell, chapsitck, Blink 182 bed shirt, halloween pillowcase (complete with extra candy), Kohl's receipts, two hangers, an ebony pencil, MM cd, a garbage bag (with some garbage), a giant pixie stick, a statue of jesus on the cross, an ugly hairtie, a sharpie, paper, an eyebrow pencil, a camera case, a Tarzan soundtrack tape from 5th grade, a Green Day guitar book, braided thread, a towel, a highligheter, some books, a bag of barbeque chips, slippers, a strapless bra, a shopping bag, M+M's wrapper, crappy headphones, the alarm clock I lost, a seventeen magazine, and the book I was supposed to read for English...

What you just read was a list of what was on top of my bed, waitting for me to attempt to sleep in it....and that is just what I did. After a week of watching the pile grow and avoiding slumber within it, I pulled back a corner of covers and slid underneath ten pounds of junk, where I slept soundly. When I woke up, there was only five pounds of junk on my bed. the rest had taken refuge on my floor, where it will reside until I get nagged to clean my room. Yes, this is the vicious cycle I have fallen into.

My New Year's Resolution

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 00:06:47 GMT

This year I am going to:

1. Become a master at the cello, the piano AND the guitar.
2. Learn how to ride a motorcycle.
3. Learn that talking should not always be a direct route to what I am thinking.
4. Help mom.
5. Email dad.
6. Straight A's, no questions.
7. Find the perfect college.
8. Tolerate my sisters.
9. Tolerate my brothers.
10.Eat healthier.
11.Get a job.
12.Get a car.
13.Get a life ( im just joking..)
14.Watch less tv and more movies.
15.Learn more about filmmaking.
16.Get a good rep for theater.
17.Be on almost everyone's good side.
18.Talk less, think more.
19.Draw more.
20.Smile.
21.Find myself.

Yes...it's a long list..so what? I'm going to make a name for myself this year, whether anyone likes it or not. And its going to be a good name, unlike ones I have had and probably still have somewhere in my past. Look out world, Sam is making her way in this life! Oh yes!

New dread...

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 20:25:23 GMT

I have stories to tell, but first, I must let it be known that within the past 24 hours, my outlook on everything has changed...and its not good. I'm feeling lethargic, apathetic, and pretty much like a bum. I have no motivation to do anything productive, because I don't see the point. The thing is, I really don't want to think like this. I don't like it, but the idea of being a bum is overwhelming me. I hate it...NO SAM NO! DON'T GIVE IN TO YOUR DUMBASS MIND...B/C ITS WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

Ok so now for a story.

New Year's Eve I didn't plan on doing anything since Cara couldn't have a little party thing at her house, but I somehow schemed so that Cara Nate and I could go to this guy Sean's New Years party. It had been a while since I went to a decent party so it was really cool for me. I did some stuuupid stuff.. for example, I wanted to go back to Nate's car to get my cell phone and i had his keys...then i claimed i didn't and that he had them...until i found them in my back pocket like 5 minutes later...i even patted myself down and didn't find them at first..
so that was the first...really stupid thing.

stupid thing number two: I was walking and ran right into a big block of ice! I can honestly say that my shins are officially bruised like hell.

stupid thing number three: Eric let me borrow his zipper sweater and as he was leaving he asked for my number, and as i was giving it to him i was trying to put on his sweater, but i could only get one arm through and couldn't find the other arm. I was struggling to find the other arm for...well..a good amount of time...long enough for him to have left already. Then Cara started laughing at me and goes, 'Sam, your sweater is on upside down..' whoops..oh well.

Sioooo then we all went back to nates and i passed out on the floor for the next 7 hours. They got the bed...lucky ducks..haha i didn't mind. I had a good time. I'd put some pictures up from my phone..but sometime during that night i deleted them...i'm still trying to figure out why and when..

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 01:51:37 GMT

I know i'm updating again, but I'm just thinking about things..and how i liek how things are right now. It's actually kind of bittersweet to tell you the truth. I love hte way things are going, except when i'm not around my friends...around my family its a completely different story, but right now...the relations i have with each one of my friends is..well..just..nice..I like it a lot. ...mhm..yes indeeed....

thank you, everyone in my life, for, just, being there i guess..

Can't decide on my emotions, just a general good feeling..if that makes any sense

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 01:37:15 GMT

look look loooooooooook i took this picture w/ my new camera phone and i didn't have anything else to take a pic of except myself...so here here hehrehrehrhehrehrhehrehrhehrhehr

i look funny..i dont care...im in my room just...lookin funny...cara says it looks very emo...she's ..very right haha

My christmas was alright this year. I got a camera phone, a digital camera, 'i robot' (which my dad just got for himself really. I didn't even ask for it), the green day album, the spiderman 2 soundtrack, a board game, um...other things that aren't really that important..oh yea, three scarves from three different relatives. They didn't know what else to get me so they each got me a scarf...nice...I don't even wear scarves...whatever.

My cousins have been here too, and we've all been having a good time going to movies and playing games and watching A LOT of tv...and i mean a lot. Oh well its a good time. Actually, they're in the same room as me right now, but we're all in a little fight that i'll elaborate on later. Let's just say some people don't know how to act their age...at all

Alright well I'm goin back to the telly..I'll elaborate later :-)